Merch Shop

Please purchase even though you won't receive this. Sam promises to inflate it in your honour.

Please purchase even though nothing will arrive. Sam needs someone to claim him on their taxes.

Please purchase although you'll never sip from these. Sam will drink to your generosity instead.

Please purchase even though it won't cover your head. Sam's luscious locks need financial support.

Please purchase although it won't arrive. Sam will scream your name into the void as thanks.

Please purchase though you won't wear it. Sam's mum says he's still cool and your money proves it.

Please purchase even though they won't keep you afloat. Sam will sink into debt slower with your help.

Please purchase though it won't keep you warm. Sam will feel the warmth of your donation in his heart.

Please purchase although you won't smell it. Sam will light a real candle and regret this business model.

Please purchase though it doesn't exist. Sam needs 99p to pretend he still has standards.